My emotions are pretty much all over the place right now but I just wanted to pop in real quick and check in.
Up until this morning, I'd been feeling a little if-fy about Saturday. I've been letting the pressure get to me.. a LOT! For just an "everyday" runner, I'm pretty fast I guess and as a group ex/personal trainer/fitness professional, people automatically expect more. I've had so many people come up to me and ask if I plan on trying to BQ, telling me I WILL BQ, and even predicting race times for me. Crazy, I know. I know it's a compliment and they definitely mean well but man.... that's a lot of expectations for my first marathon.
For the last month or so, I've really been worried about letting them down and about being embarrassed if I have a less than stellar race day.
And then this morning, something just "clicked."
Who cares what anyone else thinks?
For the last year, I've worked my butt off. I've gotten up at 5:30am Monday-Friday to get in my workout before work. I've logged WELL over my goal of 2,015 miles for 2015. I've PR-ed every single distance I've ran this year and I've made a HUGE head start on my dreams of becoming a fitness professional.
And now, to put the icing on the cake, I'm running my first marathon. And you know what? If it takes me 6 hours, it's still a PR, right?!
The funny thing is that this all arose from hearing "Lose Yourself" on the radio this morning as soon as I got in my car. That's my JAM and I took it as a sign of a good start to race week. Instead of being nervous, for the first time I'm feeling PUMPED.
I GET TO RUN 26.2 MILES.
I GET TO MARK ANOTHER ITEM OFF MY BUCKET LIST.
I GET TO DO SOMETHING I SAID 4 YEARS AGO I WOULD NEVER DO.
There's a lot of power in those statements. I'm not doing this race because I HAVE to do it in order to be considered a "real" runner.
I'm doing this race because my body is capable of it, because I'm blessed to have a support system standing strongly behind me, and because I love this sport and love pushing myself to be better.
And that my friends, is powerful.
I have no idea what's going to happen on Saturday but here's to doing what I love for 26.2 miles.